Editor’s Note:

Life doesn’t pause for fibromyalgia. A big milestone like a wedding still comes with joy, excitement, and challenges. In this heartfelt reflection, one of FAC’s board members shares how she planned her daughter’s wedding while managing fibromyalgia, offering practical strategies and gentle reminders for anyone facing a special occasion with limited energy.

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Planning a wedding is exciting, emotional, and let us be honest, exhausting! When you live with fibromyalgia, the energy and physical demands of such a big event can feel overwhelming. I recently helped to plan my daughter and son-in-law’s wedding, and while it was one of the most joyful experiences of my life, it required thoughtful pacing and careful planning to make it through without a flare-up.

The first thing we have to do is be honest with ourselves and know our limits. Before deciding and committing to certain things look at what your strengths are. Also, look at the fact that your fibromyalgia may ebb and flow and what you have committed to, may have to change.

Here are some things that helped me save energy, stay present, and truly enjoy the celebration.

1. Start Early and Have a Plan

Give yourself plenty of time. We created an excel sheet and put it in Google Docs for everyone to refer too. This included: tasks, dates, when items were completed or if they needed completion and who was assigned to do it. 

If you’re not tech savvy, that is perfectly fine.  I am a pencil to paper gal, and I also had a notebook with lists. This helped me to keep track of what needed to be done and when.

Spacing tasks out over several months helped me avoid the stress of last-minute rushing, which can easily trigger fatigue and pain.

2. Choose Comfort—But Don’t Give Up on Style

When shopping for my mother-of-the-bride dress, I focused on comfort and lightness. I looked for a dress without heavy beading, boning, or multiple layers. I knew I would be wearing it all day, so it had to be easy to move in and gentle on my body. I chose a lovely lace dress, beautiful, breathable, and elegant, perfect for feeling dressed up without discomfort.

But here’s something important to remember you can still have your dream dress, as it can be modified. I did! I had my dress altered to make it more comfortable, small adjustments that made a world of difference. Choosing breathable fabrics, simplifying structure, or shortening a hem can help you look and feel your best. Comfort and beauty can absolutely go hand in hand.

Comfortable shoes were also essential. I wore flats and could enjoy the whole day without pain. In the past, I’ve even brought a second pair of shoes for the evening to make sure I stayed comfortable.

Tips for Choosing a Comfortable Formal Outfit

• Lightweight fabrics: Chiffon, jersey, or soft lace are gentle on sensitive skin and easy to move in.
• Avoid heaviness: Skip dresses with excessive boning, sequins, or multiple layers.
• Custom alterations: Ask a tailor to adjust tight seams, add softer linings, or remove stiff details.
• Breathable shoes: Choose cushioned flats or low heels; bring an extra pair for the evening.
• Flexible wraps or shawls: Layers keep you comfortable if temperatures change.

3. Simplify Food and Errands

The day of the wedding, I ordered fruit, vegetable, and meat trays instead of cooking. It was one less thing to worry about, and I asked someone else to pick them up for me. Small adjustments like this make a big difference when conserving energy.

4. Keep the House Lightly Tidy (and Get Help If You Can)

Instead of saving all the cleaning for the week of the wedding, I kept the house tidy in the weeks leading up to it. This made it easier to manage without pushing myself too hard right before the big day. Do not be shy to ask for help. I had my mom help me; we made a great team.

You can also consider hiring a cleaning service before or after the wedding. I didn’t do this myself, but it’s a great option if it’s within your budget, it can help take a huge weight off your shoulders during such a busy time.

5. Before the Big Day

I intentionally rested in the weeks and days leading up to the wedding. This was non-negotiable. I wanted to be able to truly enjoy the wedding day, and that meant preserving my energy ahead of time.

A quick sidenote, months before the wedding, I built up the amount of daily walking I was doing. I believe this helped prepare my body for the amount of walking, I would be doing the week of the wedding. I always start very slow and pace myself and building in rest days in my routine.

6. Make and Update Lists

I’m a list person! Having lists helped me stay organized and reduced mental clutter. When I completed an item, I crossed it off; if I didn’t get to something, I moved it to the most current list. This simple system helped me stay focused and feel productive without pressure.

7. Ask for Help

Delegating is a strength, not a weakness. I asked family and friends to help with different tasks, everything from errands to setup. Family members were excited to help.  It made the process more enjoyable and much less stressful. 

8. Pace Yourself and Be Gentle

We often hear about pacing in relation to fibromyalgia and it’s doubly important when planning a big event like a wedding. Know your limits. Decide what you can do, accept what you cannot , and give yourself grace.

The truth is, the day will unfold beautifully, even if everything doesn’t go exactly as planned. What matters most is being able to be present, to savour the joy, laughter, and love of the moment.

9. Take Time to Recharge After the Wedding

After the celebrations are over, give yourself permission to slow down. There is a lot to process. It is not just the physical exhaustion, but also the emotional and mental energy that goes into such a meaningful event. Take a few days (or more) for self-care and quiet rejuvenation.

You may also need help getting your home back in order once the festivities are done. Don’t be afraid to ask for help afterward. Whether it’s tidying up, organizing gifts, or putting things away. Allow yourself to rest and recover before jumping back into your regular routine.

10. Finding the Humor in It All

Having fibromyalgia, you learn to expect a bit of pain, especially after a long day of walking, dancing, and helping with all the little details that make a wedding special. But what made me laugh was that, by the end of the night, everyone on the dance floor was complaining about sore knees, backs, and feet! I could not help but smile and think, Well, maybe this is just what happens when you’re having a really good time.

Sometimes it helps to remember that a little discomfort is part of the celebration for everyone, not just those of us living with chronic pain.

11. Find Strength in Your Faith and Community

As a Christian, one of the most important things I did throughout the process was to pray, and to ask others to pray for me, for the bride and groom, and for the wedding day itself. For me, that spiritual support brought peace, strength, and a sense of calm when things felt overwhelming.

Whatever your faith or practice may be, reaching out for spiritual or emotional support, whether through prayer, meditation, or community, can be deeply grounding. The wedding went off beautifully, and I truly felt surrounded by love, both seen and unseen.

Closing Reflection:

At Fibromyalgia Association Canada, we know that special occasions can bring both joy and worry. With thoughtful pacing, planning, and self-kindness, it’s possible to participate in life’s biggest moments without losing yourself in the process. Remember: fibromyalgia may change how you approach life, but it doesn’t have to stop you from celebrating love, laughter, and family.

November 2025